So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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