So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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