I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
