I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
