She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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