Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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