Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

(1-312): View more from Illinois

go get him tiger.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.

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(518): View more from New York

plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?

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(818): View more from California

She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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(641): View more from Iowa

As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

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(410): View more from Maryland

I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?

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