aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
