is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
