you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
