No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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