He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize