but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize