i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
