this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
