Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The power of my boobs compel you
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
