I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
