well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
