I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
