it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
