do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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