Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize