you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize