I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
