Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
