I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
