And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
