Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found your dick twin last night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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