He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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