They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
