The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
