why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
