"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize