I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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