i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
barbara walters just said penis...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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