I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
