waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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