bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
