I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
