So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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