is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
