OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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