Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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