i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
