Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
