We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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