She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
