Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
