well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
