Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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