Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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