im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
