It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
