I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
