Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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