Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
