i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
