Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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